I found this in my local newspaper a number of years ago. It had been tacked to my office bulletin board for much of that time until it became yellowed, and I figured I should scan it for posterity. It has always been one of my favorite images.
It looks like the Danbury (Conn.) Police have turned to third graders to create their police sketches (and as you can see below, it is the real deal).
Seriously if they ever found this guy, and he looked like this, he’s got more problems to worry about than a purse snatching charge. He’s got to go through life like this.
I’ve often wondered about the conversation that transpired when this sketch was made:
Witness: His head was shaped roughly like a cinder block.
Sketch Artist: (drawing) Sooo… kinda like this?
Witness: Yes! Exactly like that!
Sketch Artist: What about his hair style? Long? Short?
Witness: Short, like a nicely manicured lawn.
Sketch Artist: Okay, what about facial features? Let’s start with the eyes.
Witness: Really close-set eyes. The kind that could stare right through to my very soul.
Sketch Artist: Like…this?
Witness: Yes! Perfect!
Sketch Artist: And the nose?
Witness: Kind of long and red and turned up at the end, like a botched plastic surgery job.
Sketch Artist: Ears?
Sketch Artist: No, I mean what did they look like?
Witness: Oh, they were pretty shapeless, but they came off his head at almost right angles.
Sketch Artist: Let’s see…. how does that look?
Witness: Oh this is so scary!
Sketch Artist: Let’s work on the mouth…
Witness: He had large, full plump lips. He may even have been wearing lipstick.
Sketch Artist: I’d hate to bump into this guy on a dark street.
Witness: I know, right? Oh–and he had high cheekbones.
Sketch Artist: Like so?
Witness: Higher… no, still higher…. a little more… perfect!
Sketch Artist: Geez, that is one ugly mug…
Witness: Draw me now! Draw me now!