More email fun. I’ll try anything to get a reaction.
(the original message)
Hello My Beloved One.
I greet you with the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, It is true that this letter may come to you as a surprise. Nevertheless, I humbly ask you to give me your attention and hear me well.
My name is Mrs Elizabeth Johnson from Germany. I was brought up from a motherless babies home in my country and was married to my late husband Dr. Abelerd Johnson who worked with our Embassy here in South Africa for a period of 8years before he died. We were married for 22 years without a child before he died in a fatal car accident. Since his death I decided not to remarry due to my religious belief .I am 59 years old, and am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next two months this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$5.6m(Five Million Six Hundred United State American dollars ) with a Bank here in South Africa. Presently this money is still in the custody of the Bank in South Africa. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next two months due to cancer illness.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this money to Churches, organizations or good person that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.
I want you to use this money for Churches, Charity organizations, orphanages, widows and other people that are in need. l took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money . Moreover, my husband relatives are not close to me since I develop a Cancer problem and it had been their wish to see me dead in order to inherit his wealth since we have no Child. These people are not worthy of this inheritance. This is why I am taking this decision.
I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my ill-health. As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the Bank in South Africa where this money is deposited. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. I also want you to always put me in prayer.
Please reply to me at my email address at email@example.com.
Any delay in your reply may give me room to look for another good person for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.
Hoping to receive your response soonest at my private email address at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks and Remain blessed yours sister in the Lord,
Mrs Elizabeth Johnson
I hope this message has reached you in time and you have not succumbed to the “Big C” as we sometimes call it over here. I know it’s nothing to make light of, but “black humor” sometimes helps us all cope with uncomfortable situations.
I’m pleased that you recognized me as a good person, although just how you came across my name mystifies me. Perhaps my reputation precedes me, as they say.
I’d be happy to help you out, but the only problem is your requirement that the money go to churches, charity organizations, orphanages, widows and other people in need. I’m all for charity and helping widows and orphans and the like — I know a few of both varieties myself. Like me, they are good people and could use all the help they can get.
But as an atheist, I can’t help you out on the church part because, first, churches don’t need your money to further line their greedy coffers. Have you ever heard the phrase “They have more money than God”?
Since there is no God, that’s a true statement, no matter how you want to look at it.Second, I wouldn’t want to enable an organization that cares more about protecting the reputations of their sex abuser priests than the lives of the innocent children they rape and sodomize. What kind of God would let that happen? I bet you can’t come up with an answer.
Anyway, if you still want me to handle your money, that’s great. Happy to do it. I’ll split it up among the orphanages, and charity houses, maybe even start a foundation in your name — The Elizabeth Johnson Foundation, how does that sound? But not a penny to the church. I’d rather spend it on hookers and blow.
So, that’s the deal. Are we good?
Your beloved friend
(almost instant reply)
Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:
Technical details of permanent failure:
Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected by the server for the recipient domain hotmail.com by mx1.hotmail.com. [188.8.131.52].
The error that the other server returned was:
550 Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable
Damn! I must be too late. Poor Elizabeth kicked the bucket.