“App”t descriptions

A few years ago I had a blog called apptdescriptions. This is what it was about:

Welcome to apptdescriptions, dedicated to the wonderful world of iPhone app descriptions. You know the ones I’m talking about. I mean the ones written by people for whom English may not be their strong point. The resulting text is often—accidentally—poetic or, in some cases, even zen-like.

These descriptions are not edited and are copied verbatim from the developers’ original promotional text. All grammar errors, misspellings, and punctuation (or lack thereof) are exactly as they appear in the description. I did not include links to any apps, and often the products aren’t even named. That’s not what this is all about.

Please note: I’m not making fun of these people. I’m just pointing out the… oh hell, yes I am making fun of them.

Not much has changed since I had that blog. App descriptions are still horribly written–and wonderfully hilarious. So I thought I’d revive apptdescriptions as a subset of this blog. I’ll start with some classics from the old blog and add new ones as I see them.

Here we go…

She winked at me. so flirty

Have you ever experience sizzling hot party? This game must remind your memory of running into cool partners. “What a fantastic party!! So many cool girls are here!!” “Wait, wait oh! Did you see her? She winked at me. so flirty” I am going to tell her “Dance with me if you want to get some tonight” What can I do for my girl?

I know anything

You have too many question? You are in choices? Worring about answer? Ask me, i will help to get the answer. You will surprise about my knowledge, I know anything.

The less time spent, the higher score got!!!

You want to know how your memory really strong?then use the memory test it this game…. Rule: First, You are shown some items, Click “OK” button when you have memorized them. Then, you find and
click them among a lot of other items. You advance to the next level if you found all items. But,if you make a mistake in even one, game over. the less time spent, the higher score got!!!

Bring it to whom’s ear, and WOW! AWESOME!

1. Do you want to make freak out of someone? Choose ‘Ahhh!’ sound and put your iPhone somewhere close to them. When they try to reach your iPhone, big scream will come out! haha! 😀

2. Do you want to make fun with your friends? How about ‘rolling stones’ sound? Tell your friends you can detect what their body sounds like. Get your iPhone close to your friend and there you go!

3. Hard to send your words to someone? Record your message with your own voice. Bring it to whom’s ear, and WOW! AWESOME! It can be used to your lover for a touching event with lovely message. Or just simply to send a sorry message.

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