Dear Sir/Madam

I often get requests from Nigerian royal family members who need my help in transferring large sums of money–hidden away by their (sadly) recently deceased fathers–to the US where it will be safe from rebel forces who would probably spend it on guns and bombs and whatnot.

That’s why I was surprised to see this one in my mail this morning, from someone who I don’t remember helping, but apparently tried to–and failed.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am constrained to contact you again. I have instructed Pastor Mary DANIEL, to send $1,300,000.00 to you for your compensation based on your assistant in the past which later failed. Write him message through his Email: (pastormarydaniel@laposte.net) for him to send the money to you, although my new partner is not happy that we have to allocate such amount to you bearing in mind your attitude toward the transaction by the time your help is urgently needed.

Regards,

Yours sincerely Sister.

Miss Hanna Gaddafi.

Now, Hanna Gaddafi is the name of the adopted daughter of deposed (and deceased) Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi. She was thought to have died herself in a 1986 bombing raid, yet recent reports would seem to indicate otherwise.

If, as the reports say, she is a practicing physician somewhere, that would explain why she addressed my note to Dear Sir/Madam. The woman is just too darn busy to keep everything straight.

I think it is extremely generous of her to want to send me $1.3 million even though whatever I tried to do was ultimately unsuccessful. But her “new partner is not happy that we have to allocate such amount to you bearing in mind your attitude toward the transaction by the time your help is urgently needed” (whatever that means).

Sounds to me like someone has some pretty tight controls on the ol’ purse strings. I should probably write to Miss Gaddafi (who is, after all, my Sister) and warn her about such people. They can be nothing but trouble.

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